mostly me

im giving up, ive been racking my brains and hittin my head against the wall hoing that something usefull comes out but nothing, i have absolutely nothing to say, and mind me even when i dont have much to say i can say too much, which anoys some people. :( the thing bout nothing is , something is better than nothing, and nothing is better than nonsense, and thts what ive been tryin to convince people from time to time, nothing is better than nonsense, nonsense is the best, (people who read that normally would have totally missed that joke, so let me take a bit of my time and explain, in the first sentence, let me call it sentence 1)something is better.... im implying that getting nothing , is better than having to deal with nonsense, while in the second sentence, which im labelling c7)nothing is better than nonsense im implying, as is the case that nothing is better than nonsense, meaning to say :P, that nonsense is the best) phew!! tht took some time. ok now ive gone and forgotten bo...

Before reading further i think u should get a little background bout this, it was my first exam in my new college, and stats at tht, which as we all know is another name for maths, i hate maths, everything bout it, ive been trying to get it for a long time, and i mean a really long time and i dunno y but i thot i was done with it after college ended, silly me, Anyway it was my first paper..... I don’t feel like studying anymore, it feels like ive filled th brain till its brim, and the funny thing is, ive only been readin the same line over and over again (i do tht a lot), i don’t know how that can be considered as overload but sure feels like it. Mean median mode, all swimming in the background of everything i do. Its INFURIATING!!!! EXASPERATING!!!! One things for certain thou, i have to do well tomorrow (8th oct). Dunno if i will or wont but i know i have to. First exam in this god awful place and let this be – as they say- A sign of things to come. Over the course of 13 teas, 17 cig...

it hasn stopped pouring, its been almost 12 hours now and the rain has not stopped, i mean sure it has, but only breifly enough to give u the hope that all the plans that u had can actually work out, and then it rains and washes those plans away, quite literally. i think i might have something to do with the rain, i think god is annoyed with me( im stilll arguing with myself on that topic thou, i mean whether he/she exists or not....) hte thing is i seemed to think that i was omnipotent enough to think that i had a shred of doubt of a hint of a glimmer of a hope of a chance of contorlling the weather. but i am anything but insane so obviously i must have had some reason to belive tht things that i did, and here are the reasons 1) everytime i feel happy the weather turns cloudy and everythign gets all dark and spooky looking, dont get me wrong i love that atmosphere, like the way the sky gets just when its about to rain, luv it, was it coincidence??? 2) everyday i was walking to class ...

Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. Try reasoning with her and she will probably bite your head off. try to find out what you did wrong and your day is goin to be one intense interrogation. her eyes will say to u" you dont know what u did wrong?", you try ur best to look calm and composed but ur reaction is that of being puzzled and scared both at the same time and ur not quite able to pull it off (dont fret, no one can pull it off), you have a staring contest with the floor and lose, and when u finally do gather the courage to look up and say "umm, idunno" her fiery gaze burns holes in ur head and u drop dead immediately. this particular species has no logic, no reasoning ability definately no sense of humour, and they can smell fear. so i'd advise "dont lose ur compusure" (not immediately anyway), they also happen to be easily confused so try using long words like, "weather" and "football", try repeating things over and over a...

there come times in my life when im sitting jus minding my own business having this totally irrelevant conversation with some one who is even more irrelevant and suddenly outta the blue, totally unexpectedly i have a deja vu!!! moment( i know th !! dont need to be there but the word somehow seemed incomplete without em), im a little shaken, im a little stirred, and im a lot bit irritated. did this really happen in the past? have i lived an exactly similar moment as this? or did i dream that this wud happen and now tht th incident occured did the dream suddenly come from the most outer reaches of my sub conscious to hit me smack on the forehead to say,"yup, i told u so" the worst part is that the conversations and the actions and the reactions are so arbrtitary that they wouldn seem extra ordinary except for the annoying voice in my head screamin to me "deja vu!! deja vu!!" but then i reason to myself, if someone as ordinary as myself who happens to live the same mon...

Shud u not be happy that people like me exist?? me and people like me are the reasons that relationships get stronger. it may be that people like me are the reason that u sometimes lose sleep at night (or during class hours if ur studying in sbs). you worry that i might steal her away from you. but rest that pretty little head of urs and dont strain that mind muscle( lest u shall actually have a thought worth thinkin over), too much. you do not know of my intentions, and rest be assured you lose sleep over nothing. have you ever herd of the phrase "the chase is sweeter than the kill??" its something i swear by, nay!!! i live by it. ive never wanted to win, i only want to run, and during the course of the race, if i do win the bronze medal, or maybe even the silver my heart is content. but do you not realize that if i come in third or fourth or second it makes ur victory so much sweeter. the guilt involved will make her love you so much more. she will be burdened by it and sta...

this is a email i received frm maithili in reply to my ealier blog post.. first off i hate everything about u, and just to make things clear we r not together, and ur friends can laugh at u about ur on off status as much as they want i dont care, but yes we are not seeing each other, things i hate about u: well like i said everything, but jus to be specific id like to give u details so hee goes everything. 1)money money money: u never have any money with u, i hate tht, were about to enter a restaurant and u have to run to the atm to withdraw money, cant u jus do that before u come to meet me, and what kind of 21 year old goes around a city like pune with 10 rs in his wallet??? even parking ur bike is expensive here, so get real and keep cash on u. its not like u dont have money, u just dont have money when u need it, always in the bank. this is related to money as well so il add it here but its kind of a different section, but whateva, mai: "jay y dont u call me?" jay: ...

Goa is a small state, a really small state, and as is the case with "its a small world afterall" u can imagine how small Goa really is. and since goa is as small as it is, everyone knows everyone. I finished school, there were my seniors and my juniors, then college and then friends and friends of friends, every1s related to everyone else. so basically what im tryin to say is everyone knows me and i know everyone. but herein lies the problem. i have a small brain, actually its average size, yeah u have a small brain too.. and theres only so much information it can hold, and you cant expect me to know every1s name, ofcourse u cant, and even if u did expect me to know it, i dont care, i cant, and i dont want to. who the hell cares bout some random person tht u meet once in three years, y wud i be expected to know his name.. uhhuh, but then when u do unexpectantly do meet him, what du say?? how du talk to some1 whos name uve forgotten, its even worse if he remembers ur name, n ...

this is my girlfriend, was my girlfriend, is/was.. hold on il call and find out, shit her phones busy, probably talking to her mom and discussing her future, we have/had been together for 5 years now, almost, imma get rid of the confusion and assume for the time being tht we are together. things i hate about her 1) shes way too freakin serious, bout everything, "omg jay thrs no milk in th house, what r we goin to do, shit this ruins everything, my futures doomed" (not a real conversation but u can imagine a real conversation,it goes on similar lines) 2) shes not fun when shes with me but when shes not with me all she seems to want to do is have fun, apparently thigns change when ur in a relationship, and ur not allowed to be the same person when ur in a relationship and when ur not. Y NOT??? :( 3) her mom :P need i say more, il leave it at this for now. 4) she unneccasarily cares for losers, its a (wats th word im lookin for?? like she repeats it...

all my bags are packed im ready to go, but th tickets r not available and i think ive already gotten th flu, i went online and searched for as much information on the swine flu as i could and it just seemed the more i found out bout it the more sick i got, i suddenly seem to have all the symptoms of the flu, i have joint pains i have body ache, im confused (but ive always been tht) and except for the diarroheoa, the vomiting, fever, cold, sore throat i seem to be perfectly fit...i still find it hard to climb up stairs but il blame the cigarettes for that, college had an unprecented break for 10 days, something that had never happened before apparently, and every1s mind was more diverted towards getting back home rather than tryin to be safe from the flu, dunno, ive been tryin to leave as well but so far i haven been able to, something always comes up, i think i finally will leave today and find bliss with a bottle of beer at the beach, only keeping my fingers crossed and hope tht th f...

been extremely busy these days seems like theres no time to breathe, wake up n its already time to sleep again (in th classes ofcourse) colg is kinda weird, they rusticated 3 students for not wearing their helmets, bout 10 students were fined a 1000 bucks for not having their helmets on outside colg, ties r compulsory but ive gotten used to tht, not allowed to have long hair, ok fine, absolutely no holidays but our class did win the interdual competition so i might be going to goa for like a week in aug which is yea!!! got a place of my own dont live with relatives anymore which is good but the rents killin me constantly outta cah :P,(maithili chirps in at this point to add..."whats new??" mid terms in sep and i dont even know what i supposed to be studying, i think m failing in cost and basic accounting coz i have no idea what he goes on bout in class, core marketing lectures r really fun, ob is blah!!, hmm dbms is interesting, probably wil be learning oracle basic this sem...

solitaire: my life before i entered college i had a lot of free time on my hands, and since most of my friends were busy studying for their engineering exams i had nothing to do, so i spent day and night sitting watching tv, playing on my ps2, watching movies and moslty playing solitaire on my laptop.. i was hooked to it. i must have played on an average 240 games per day... as i played and played i started to notice how this stupid card game on my stupid computer resembled my life so much, and this is y... 1)u have to make choices in solitaire: and so too in life, its the choices u make that define who you are who u who are going to be in the future, i fu make the right choices from the beginning u have a better chance of succeding than if u dont 2)crtl z: for those more technologically inept than me crtl z, stands for undo, jus like in solitaire if u think uve erred than u can always crtl z and go back and make the right move, sure we dont have time machines to do over our lives i wi...

theres a trdition in our college that each and every1 of the students that havve been newly enrolled have to present a topic to all the other students, bam is like this totally insane freak who used to work as a maketing manager for tata motors bbay, while at the same thime drove a taxi round the shady streets of bbay,.. well i gave my presentation and it totally sucked, i picked the topic 5 life lessons that u learned frm solitaire nd tht was my topic for the presentation but it dint go down too well... sweat was dripping down my forehead, i got super nervous, tongue got dry, dint have the courge to look at any1, i was totally the epitome of nervousness which was disappointing because in these presentations ive been the backup (back stage support and support for all the skit and i dont get so nervous thn bu thwne it actualy come to my turn to do something i got so fukd....my total was a measely 78 outta 200...and the worst part is tht if im in the

Assuming you know all that you think you do, would the world be a better place without you? have you made a difference with your life? made anyones living worthwhile? have you ever known yourself from within? these are the answers you should be searching, superficial in eveything you look for, questions of life, those you ignore, if seeing is believing, i would see but a man, not an enlightened being who'd understand, the answers to life staring at you may be, straight in the face, yet you would not see, assuming you know all that u think you do, could the world be a better place with you??

sitting idle is not conducive, the one great thought is elusive, no work, i sit around, an empty mind is the devils playground. thoughts flow that should not exist, an evil mind, i cannot resist, flow of thoughts i cannot control, with these rhymes im on a roll, :P wheres the button that makes it stop? when will the bubble pop? minds gone astray again, evil pours through.....

its been two days since ive entered college and these guys r totally killn us, already, i have to start work on presentations, assignments, and we already have our culturals coming up, on the 26th so have to start preparing for tht, dunno wat il take part in yet but il try to do as much as i can for my school, be pro active, get recognized, is gonna be my theme for this two years... thinkin of doing my presentation on peer pressure, i have to talk for 10 mins dont know what im gonna say for so long but im allowed to have a coupla skits which shud take up some time (keeping my fingers crossed), have some ideas im working on, hopefully theyl work out fine.. they were considering me for compering(being the host of..) the show of our college, i said il think bout it, mayb knowing how to speak english mite pay off ;P but thrs always tht fear of public speaking issue ive yet to learn to deal with... let ya know how things go...

Oh hello!!! long time... found 5 rs. on the road yesterday, hadn eaten a proper meal in days, i decided not to break the trend so i bought myself a cigarette. I allow myself these minor indulgencies every now and then to get my mind off the more pressing issues of food, water, shelter. Ive decided to give up being a hippie person. Why fight a losing battle?? one of my neighbours (from the housing society i live next to..) threw out an almost full bottle of vodka, When even alcohol is being wasted i see no hope for Earths survival.. I personally dont drink. 2 years ago i sold part of my liver, drinking is bad if u have only part of ur liver, so i smoke. smoking is not a threat to the liver,not that ive herd of anyway. Speaking of threats, i bumped into an insurance salesman yesterday. Sure i live in the dirt and eat food from a thrash can but with the kind of people they meet and the houses they enter, the sheer number would give anyone nosebleeds. You could hardly blame me panicking. I...

Have u ever said to urself "god i love her so much id do anything for her.." , well i did say it, not out loud ofcourse but in my head and it may sound completely insane and totally not me but i really meant what i thought, its insane, i know. having ur love lost and losing ur love may sound the same but hey mean two completely different things, love lost is when ur with the person that u thought u loved and u thought u always will, but now after as long as it may have been u dont feel the same way for the person, u lose the feelings that u thought u had, u literally lose the love, u may or may not know wat happened, u may have seen the problems coming, or mayb u were caught completely offgaurd. love lost can hardly be found again, u try to make things work, but love requires no trying, it requires no work, love happens, it stays, it feels right, it works, and all the effort u require to make if any is to see that u dont hurt the person u love, unintentionally or other wise. ...

aye aye aye!!!! if this is the sign of things to come then i am in for a really really long wo years, the day started with breakfast (which is compulsory btw, and today it was at 630), but today it was not compulsory and this i did not know, the day was supposed to start at 630 so my day started at 5, after a coupla hits on the snooze button of the alarm i finally ended up waking up at 530, drag.... dressed in the most traditional goan outfit i could think of, which in my case was a nice cool hawaiian looking shirt, a blazer and some pants, u have to have pants... went thr and ofcourse after a few snags and hiccups things started to finally pick up at bout 8, breakfast, parathas, bread and butter, some tea/coffee, and a banana which was optional, (unlike when karsten comes over), then off to the temple, yes we have a temple in our college, for the puja, which lasted bout an hour, m not complaining just stating a fact, then outta the sun and into the ac auditorium...ahhhhh.....nice lean...

Im possesive. I hate sharing things. My things. Especially my toothbrush. I haven shared it since i was 6, i haven changed it since it since i was 6 either. sure a few bristles are missing here and there, it doesn give me a good brushed feeling, but wat the hell, its my toothbrush, i do with it wat i please. My teeth are rotting and i have extremely bad breath. The neighbours moved cause they couldn stand the smell. I haven showered in over a year either. Doing my part to save Mother Earth. Im 27 years old and looking to get married now. My ideal match would be...FEMALE. I cant be picky afterall. Beggars cant be choosers can they. Did i also mention im dirt poor. I practically live in a dumpser. Well next to one anyway. But its just outside a real plush housing society. Why just last last week i found a fully functional I-POD while i was rummaging around for food. Can u believe imagine that? But what would i do with it so i listened to a few songs till the battery died out and continue...

you always chase after somethign that you will probably never have, and for me that chase is for my fathers respect. ive been a constant source of disappointment for him ever since the day i became who i am, a lazy, bored, adolescent with so much free time and a lack of will to do anything with it. im angry at him, for not understanding me, not being there for me. from ever since i can remember and ive remembered a lot hes not been there, he has been around, somehwere but its difficult to place him in my life, never at any pta meetings, neva at any swim meets, never proud when i became school champion, i doubt if he even knows... finding faults in everything i do, never having the patience to explain things to me, and yet i want to be just like him, i want be successful, i want to be everybodys go to guy, in a way i want to be him when i grow up, he always seems to have everything under control, knows whats going on where at most times, seems to have enormous amounts of energy to do t...

The birds are getting louder, fierce winds blow in my direction, sweeping, twirling the dust into a mini tornado..paranoia seeps, every sound is like the "law" out to get me, then silence, i fade out, deep breathes, i sit down, all my muscles feel loose...i stand again..m way too uncomfortable...a friend points to a dog and say "look at him relaxing in the wind"...the chuckels set in..we laugh..im sit down on the ground unable to say anything, im dehydrated,i light each and every match from the box and watch it burn, i jus feel like doing, i look at my bike and it seems to be laughing at the state im in, i can c the fenders move up down and im a little freaked out, thrs a awesome trance track playing from my friends phone, and i cant help but tap my legs, imagine all the ridiculous moves i would have made if i were standing, if i were in a position to stand that is...im home, bu ti dont remeber getting there, i dint remember parking the bike, i go upstairs and lie o...

whoever missed the quarter final between chelsea and liverpool,missed one heck of a game.Chelsea went into the second leg of the quarterfinal with a 2 goal lead, which they let slip hrough their hands within the first 30minutes..the first half ended that way, i dont know what guus hiddink said to the team during the half time break, quite frankly i dont care at all..all i know is that what happened in the second half is nothing short of a miracle. a goal by drogba, another by alex and another by lampard, and it suddenly feels like the game is in the bag, but when u play liverpool, its never really over till its over is it??? so as the score stands the aggregate is 6-4 with chelsea in the lead, liverpool having scored soon after, and suddenly, in the last 10 minutes dirk kuyt scores a goal....my hearts in my mouth, my hands and feet are numb with the sheer madness im watching on the screen...another goal from lvierpool and they go through to the semi-final on the away goal rule, but mr ...

i usually have no idea wats going on in indian politics but it seems like thigns are heating up, now theres gonna be a fourth bloc, as if three werent enuf, too many people have too big n ego to be left behind so wont be surprised if before long there wil be a 5th 6th and 7th bloc, "ME, BEFORE ALL ELSE" should be the slogan of all the political parties, why the sham bout developing the country, progress, they seem like words to be kept for future reference, right now we should focus on, "vote for me, vote for me, vote for me, vote for me" sure they use a more attracive,colourful way of suggesting the same but none the less that is what they are saying, a political party recently claimed that it wanted to ban english, fine no qualms there, sure i dont see much progress without it but you could argue the chinese have progressed so much without adopting to english( and btw even theyre learning from their mistakes now) so i wont make much of an issue bout banning englis...

its always difficult to get started isn it, umm..well lets start with what i did this last week and each week or when i feel like it il fill the readers in with wats happening in my god forsaken life. 1)aloo chaat- my first impression was ,ok not bad so m here alone watching the movie all by myself this movie better be worth it, but it wasnt, half way through the film u realize that the filmmaker is tryin to re make D.D.L.J not a good idea, its a classic, leave it alone i say, anyway the filmmaker fails miserably, the cast is alright to begin with, not much credit can be given to the "gori" in the film coz according to me the only reason shes in the film other than the loose loose script called for it was mayb no1 else was willing to strap on a bikin for the film, the story is predctible, moves slowly, for a funny movie it hardly has any laughs, some try to hard others not at all, id give the movie a rating of mayb 2 outa 5 stars but only coz im in a happy mood. 2)fast n fu...