mostly me

what a terrible weekend wasn't it? Here are all the reasons why. Chelsea lost to crystal palace. Yes despite my best efforts of sitting with my legs and hands crossed something i do everytime Chelsea are in dire need of a win they lost. This means that Liverpool (yuck) or Manchester City (more yuck) could win the epl. The Chelsea performance was terrible. Really terrible. i had coffee. A lot of coffee. Which isn't necessarily bad except, my stomach cannot handle milk. Or coffee. And especially the combination of the two. So i spent most of the weekend petrified that my farts would actually be sharts * and that i would soil myself.  I also spent most of the weekend in the toilet. With diarrhea (i can never spell that word correctly). I was at a friends place and ended up watching Rangrasiya. Which in my opinion was the worst thing that could have happened to me. You know how silly and pointless Hindi shows are, well this is worse. On a brighter note though, i did watch...

I recently had a conversation with a friend of mine mid slumber about how long they would survive a zombie apocalypse. Her reply, "either forever or not at all. My slow moving body and lack of brains would make them think I was one of them. So they wouldn't bother me. Or they would chew me up, and I would turn into one of them. Either way not too worried." I may seem like im physically fit (yes I kid from now to then), but im not. I wouldnt last a minute. Especially if they were the world war Z type/ I am Legend zombies. Those muthas were fast as hell. Maybe the zombies from Zombie Land I would survive a coupla weeks. So I have decided to buy a big SUV. Add some extra protection to it. Cover it up with weapons. You may call me crazy now, but a few years down the line when the shit hits the fan remember there are only probably 4 seats in my car. *(the rest of the space is going to be taken over by weapons obviously). Also, I cant be a hero. I dont want to be one. ...